Today’s generation of couples have the benefit of better communication. Decades ago, if you lost touch, you may never see or hear from a lover again. In the modern age, a former lover can send a text message in seconds. It’s risky to make a phone call or meet in person, but sending a text is a way to play it safe. Here’s how to rekindle lost love with text messages.
Don’t Be Boring
Make sure you’re catching his attention. A simple “Hope you’re doing well” or “Hey there” is not good enough. Share interesting news and make him laugh. Remind him you’re a person that can excite and not bore.
Stay Away from Arguments
If the relationship or last encounter ended poorly, don’t start where you left off. Avoid arguments and don’t mention previous clashes. Keep the conversation light and emotion controlled.
Have a Reason
Be sure there’s a reason you’re contacting an ex. A poor excuse makes you appear desperate and random. For example, ask to retrieve a possession from their home; that’s a good reason. From there, gain a sense as to whether contact is well received.
Use animated gifs or emojis to emphasize sentiments. People want to interact with those who are fun. However, this can backfire if you’re actually feeling nervous. You don’t want to force a bubbly attitude; be natural.
Use Shared Memories
Your ex may have negative memories or emotions, so draw attention to a pleasant memory. Reference a song, city, or food. If they get sentimental, there’s reason to mention more memories.
Stay focused and in control of the conversation. You don’t want an ex’s bitterness to sour an otherwise positive interaction. If an ex broaches a subject that is too complex to address, change the course of the conversation.
Less is More
Take the time to think. Less is more when texting an ex lover. You don’t want to appear needy, sentimental, or downright creepy. Send a message and analyze their reaction. If they get back to you favorably, stay patient and text further. If they take a long time to get back to you, or don’t get back to you at all, give them space. In such a case, you may have to consider moving on.
Stay Off the Sauce
There’s a reason why numerous jokes and memes reference drunk texts. Don’t text your ex after you’ve had a few drinks. Alcohol invites a rush of emotion and poor choice of words. In some cases, you may become too forthright about your true feelings. Don’t be drunk; be fun. Rather than call them when you’re inebriated, call your ex when you’re exuberated and playful.
Be a Bit Risque
Let’s get to it; you want to know if there’s still a chance. As when you were together, flirting will be well accepted if they are on the same page. Otherwise, the immediate diss will taste sour but at least you’ll know you’ll need to develop a taste for another person. Insert some flirt and see how it’s received. If he finds it funny or sends something flirty back, it’s time to move forward.
Balance Consistency with Pushiness
Keep consistent yet don’t appear creepy or pushy. Keep the texts coming but only as long as you feel like they’re wanted. If their texts are consistently short or it takes them a long time to get back, take a hint. On the other hand, they may want to know your feelings are genuine. If you are too casual he may assume you want to be friends.
Text to Your Strengths
Send the kind of texts that normally get great reception from others. If people like it when you send long, specific, and hilarious texts, then be sure to let that talent shine with your ex. If people love your short, witty tweets or Facebook posts, get him back using texts messages that are similar. Think like an advertiser. Why reinvent the wheel? Discover what works and repeat.
Realize It’s a Means
Of course, texting is a means to an end, which is face to face communication. Ultimately, you want to get back with your ex, but you shouldn’t assume it can happen through texts. You’ll want to talk with them in person. The texting serves as an initial basis for a new beginning. Therefore, don’t be impatient or impractical in your reaction to the back and forth.
Lara Barnett writes about matters of the heart. From finding true love, to keeping it, and getting it back! She is a romantic at heart and would happily date Mr. Darcy, aka Colin Firth whether in character or not!