This is a love letter to my grown son.
It seems like only yesterday you were just a little baby laying in my arms. Sometimes I look at you or just a part of your body such as your calf and I almost can’t remember how it felt to hold you when you were so little. I miss how we used to “snuggle bug” at night. I miss our bedtime ritual…
Me: See you in the mornin’.
You: See you in the mornin’.
Together: No, bye. I win. Yeah.
What’s even more amazing is that you still remember it too.
Through the years I did my best at giving you what a parent was supposed to provide: love, food, shelter, and almost anything else you wanted. I never really had the money to give you the things that a lot of others around you got, but you were so easy and understanding. You never complained. And when your dad left I did everything in my power never to bad mouth him or tell you about the things that lead up to him leaving. I wanted you to be able to make your own decisions and have your own opinion as to what kind of man he was. I am sorry that hasn’t always been an easy thing for you. You have experienced some things in life that no child should ever have to experience because of him and still you are strong.
You amaze me.
Now that you are a grown man I wonder if maybe I should have done some things differently. I was always trying to be awesome raising you without your dad and because of that I probably coddled you too much. I look back now and I realize that there were things I forgot to teach you too. I forgot to teach you how to have fun. I forgot to tell you that getting in trouble every once in a while can be a good learning experience. I forgot to help you DREAM BIG so that you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I was so worried about you becoming your own person and forgetting about me that I never let you truly experience life on your own.
Let’s fix this.
Don’t worry about me. I don’t want you to ever feel like you are obligated to stay here because of me. I probably made you feel guilty about wanting to stay in Georgia when we moved to Florida this past summer, but I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to take care of yourself without me. If I am honest with myself I realize it was more selfish than anything else and I was more worried that I would miss you too much.
I just want you to know that if you ever feel like your path is leading you somewhere other than here that I totally understand. I love you. You are a good man and a great son. Live life and have fun. Go experience things and dream big!
Today is a great day to read some other blogger’s letters to their sons. Start with Being Alison’s Letter to Her Son.