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Putting the Spark Back into Your Relationship: Romance After Hours

With Valentines Day right around the corner I thought it would be the perfect time to start posting some articles on romance.  I’ve been hearing about a lot of relationships lately that are in trouble and it really bothers me.  My husband and I have been making a conscious effort to put the romance back in our relationship and here are some of the things we have implemented.  Try ’em out!

A Couples Retreat At Home

When you have kids, time for romance is hard to find. Even when you can find the time, your budget is tight and you can’t afford a babysitter every time you want to enjoy your spouse’s company alone. Then there’s the exhaustion. Oftentimes parents are just too tired after a day of work and kids to think of leaving the house again. But, finding time alone with your spouse is important for your marriage, believe me, I know. You get to see each other once again as sexy and not just as a mom or dad. So, how can you romance your spouse when you’re strapped for time, money, and energy?

The date nights I am suggesting will begin after the kids are tucked in bed, and you won’t even have to leave the house. Let’s take a look at a few ideas for romancing your spouse without leaving the house:

Dance With Me

Get dressed up in your sexiest dress or suit and meet in the living room or dining room. Push the table or couch out of the way to clear the floor. Lower the lights and close the drapes. Light candles to set the mood. Turn on the romantic tunes that you used to dance to when you were dating and ask your spouse to join you on the dance floor.

Dancing is a great way to get close again. Not only are you in each others’ arms, but you are increasing those endorphins, the feel-good hormones, which will make you feel happier, too. Make your dancing date even more entertaining by learning some new moves. Choose a dance video that teaches the tango, salsa, or other fun new moves you haven’t tried yet. Show your spouse that you can still ‘cut a rug!’  My hubby isn’t the tango type, but we still can have fun and giggle together over our moves.

A Very Personal Scavenger Hunt

This game can become as playful as you want to make it. You each take turns leaving clues as to your whereabouts. When your spouse follows the clues, they lead to a secret rendezvous. Make your clues intriguing, filled with double entendre if you wish. But, don’t waste too much time with the clues. You want to be able to enjoy time together once you’re found! You can even have each clue lead to an item they will bring with them to the rendezvous spot. Where do the clues end up? Well, that will be up to you and your imagination.

Movie Night for Grownups

Now’s your chance to watch something other than a Disney movie. Drag out your old favorite movies to rekindle the flame you felt when you first saw them. Or, choose something new that you both have been longing to see. You can choose a movie to make you laugh, cry, or blush. Even a scary movie can be fun when the monster makes you scream and leap into your sweetie’s arms.

Set the stage with low lighting, popcorn, and cozy quilts to snuggle in. You may even want to plan a simple dinner for your late night movie. Choose foods like pizza or chili that are reminiscent of meals you might have enjoyed when you were dating. Recreating those youthful times is always good for romance.  James and I spent the last week curled up together on the couch watching movies.  We took turns picking and it was a lot of fun.  Here are a couple we watched this week: The Town
(for him, but it was really good) and Did You Hear About the Morgans?.

Adults Only Dessert

You ate dinner with the family, but tonight dessert is just for the two of you. Opt for romantic desserts that you, not your kids, will appreciate. Even when on a budget you can find simple desserts that taste and look decadent, and yes, sexy. Look for grownup choices like sparkling wine and strawberries. Choose smaller portions of rich chocolates to stay within your budget. With a grownup dessert for lovers, the idea is to choose quality, not quantity. Add a rich dark coffee, hot cocoa, or warm liqueur to top off the evening in sensual bliss. Take time to feed each other and don’t forget the kisses in between the nibbles!

Back when you were first married, there was no shortage of ideas for ways to spend time together, even when there wasn’t enough money to spend on expensive nights out, dining and dancing. You had to be creative to find romantic things to do cheaply at home. After hours, the house belongs to couples with romance on their mind. So, tuck those kids in bed early and let the romance begin!


  1. Mary Ambrosino says


  2. I love this. Great tips Lisa. So important to keep the romance alive in a relationship.

  3. Hi Lisa
    After 22 years we have become a little too comfortable, dull or maybe predictable would better describe it. I’m going to try a few of these, should be easy since the kids are grown and gone.

  4. New follower via FB & GFC from the Follow Me Weekend Hop.GREAT BLOG!!~Shari


  5. This is what I’ve been searching for. I’ve been married for 8 years and I feel like the spark on our relationship is slowly slipping away.

  6. Nice article. I really like your site. Thanks for posting this.