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Is Your Man Distant? Things You May Be Doing to Cause Him to Withdraw

Man keeping a woman from entering a store and begging her to stop shopping

Relationships are tough, and sometimes partners will unknowingly do things that frustrate the other. If you find that your man is becoming more distant as the days go by, then maybe you should evaluate your actions toward him

Eventually, all men will pull away a little bit…but it’s not always a bad thing. Many times, men will grow distant as they fall deeper in love: it’s a defense mechanism.

But if the pull-back continues for a long time and you find yourself wondering why men pull away, then here are a few sure-fire reason why he may not be as close as he once was.

You’re Too Clingy

Healthy space is a very important part of any relationship. Sure, you both enjoy spending time with each other, but time alone and time with friends is vital to keep both men and women happy. Unless, of course, you’re a Stage 5 Clinger, then all bets are off! You need to be with your man every waking hour and, in your eyes, he should want the same thing.

This isn’t how relationships work. If you are always with him — or, even worse, not allowing him alone time or time to go out with friends — he will grow to resent you. He will feel like you are trying to control him and smothering him. This will cause him to purposely seek out ways to be away from you, and that’s not what you want in a healthy relationship.

Wanting to be with your lover is good thing. Just make sure you don’t overdo it.

The Sexual Attraction is Fading

Sexual attraction is the most common reason why two people are initially attracted to each other. There’s just something about them that turns you on, and in the beginning it’s great. It’s special and exciting for the first few months and then…

Something changes. It’s been weeks since you’ve made love. A peck on the lips at bedtime, and you roll away from each other. There are no more spontaneous afternoon sessions. Your sex life has grown stale.

This is also by far the most common problem couples have problems. He will begin to think that you are no longer attracted to him, or that you find him inadequate or boring. Obviously, sexual frustration is not entirely your fault…it take two to not tango. But fair or unfair, it may be up to you to fix it. Suggest some sexual games or try a new outfit that will remind him of why he wanted you in the first place!

You’re Becoming Boring

Everyone enjoys a low-key night of movies or binge watching a great television series. But you must take care not to make such nights the norm.

Getting comfortable in a relationship is great: it shows that you two are very compatible. Too much comfort, however, can be the death knell of a relationship. You must make sure to get up off the couch and do things that are fun and exciting. Try a new restaurant that serves food out of his comfort zone. Suggest going to ball game or that he take you out for a night of dancing…anything to get out of the house and live rather than clicking “continue watching” on your remote.

You’re Not Anchoring Him

Many relationship experts compare a man to a rubber band: he’ll move further away and back closer to you as he works out his feelings for you. In order for him to “snap back” to you, however, you must provide an anchoring point. This will keep the tension alive and his attraction toward you strong.

Like with a rubber band, if he pulls away and you follow him, there will be no tension produced. The rubber band will stay limp. But what does it mean to be an “anchor?”

Anchoring means that you challenge him. When he pulls away from you, rather than following him, you stand in opposition, creating a natural tension that men find sexy and exciting. “Rubber banding” is a natural process that men go through in any healthy relationship, so if you feel him pulling away, you don’t have to automatically feel bad. In many cases, it’s a good thing that will work itself out if you let it happen naturally.

There are many reasons a man may pull away in a relationship. They’re not all bad, but sometimes you can help slow the process or even stop it if you know what to look for.

Amy Banks has several years of experience working as a relationship therapist. In her free moments she writes about matters of the heart for her online audience.