I have a confession.
I am a phone sex operator.
Yes, you read that right. I entice men and women into talking dirty on the phone.
My clientele? Telemarketers.
Although we are on the national Do Not Call list we still get at least one or two call a day from telemarketers. Not only does it suck time out of my day trying to get them off the phone, but no matter what I try they call back the following day. It’s annoying as hell and yesterday I had enough so when the phone rang from “Out of Area – Private Caller” I answered.
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer (in thick Indian accent): Hello, I am calling about a new Windows blah, blah, blah…insert long pitch here….more blah, blah, blah. Are you in front of you computer?
Me (in my sultry voice): Do you want to have phone sex?
Insert silence.
Telemarketer: Ummm…no ma’am I am not calling for that. I’m calling about a new Windows blah, blah, blah…insert medium length pitch here…more blah, blah.
Me: So, are you asking me for phone sex?
Another long pause.
Telemarketer: Ma’am I am not talking like that.
Me: Really, because you sound like you are talking like that with your sexy voice.
Telemarketer: Ummm…really?
Me: Yes, so do you want me to talk dirty to you?
Telemarketer (a bit hesitant, but much more relaxed in tone): Okay ma’am. What did you want to say?
(Apparently he was at a call center and trying to disguise our conversation at this point.)
Me: Okay, I’m so excited you want to do this. Hang on a minute, let me get my husband. He has been dying to do this all day. Don’t hang up.
At this point I put the phone on mute and busted out laughing. I could hear him breathing on the other end for a minute, but within the next 15 seconds he must have gotten scared and he hung up.
I have NEVER had a telemarketer hang up on me before and I’ve tried EVERYTHING in the past to get them off the phone. Apparently the offer of phone sex works.
The next time your phone rings and it’s a telemarketer on the other end have some fun with it. Breath heavy, get sultry, and have a giggle.
This is fantastic. I give you credit for letting them even talk. I just hang up. My motto is “do not engage”, but you have me rethinking my options.
Might as well have fun with it Deb.
So funny! Nice of you to give this guy some crazy story to tell his friends in an otherwise dull job. I look forward to seeing some more conversations so hope you try it again and share!
I am going to try to record some of them Emilie…will let you know how it goes.
Bahahaha I love this!! and I’m so trying it next time!! Maybe I’ll get the same guy.. we always get the call from Microsoft.. :/
Let me know how it goes Candy. Now I need to try this one with the bill collectors. 🙂
I love it. After seeing your update I did the same thing except we just refi’ed the house so I had like 6 of them. I went straight for vulgar and I will respect your site enough to not print it here but mine all hung up too and I think I could hear them blush.
LOL Jessica, record one 🙂
You should have said after the pitch when he sounded agreeable. “you do realize that this number will be billed in the amount of $1.00 per minute, correct?
hehe, that’s the one i will use for the bill collectors
HAHAHHAHA Loved it then and love it now!!! I really think we can do a series on this. You need to tape your next one.
Already planning it….
Too funny! I am going to start trying it.
I love messing with telemarketers . I have sang beautiful off key songs to them but they usually hang up before I can ask if they want to hear another. The next time John from Phoenix Arizona calls me I am definitely going to tell him how sexy he sounds with his thick Indian accent.
Love this! I must try it! And thanks for the laugh!
Let me know if you do…would love to hear about it.
He might actually like it and want to have phone sex.